300 (2007, USA)

300 may be the most awesome HoYay! giggle-fest ever. It’s got to be in the running with the Nicholas Cage version of The Wicker Man for best comedy of the last two years.

This movie taught me that you cannot trust dark people, the crippled, government officials (even when they’re not trying to kill you and rape your wife!), or, in some cases, women.*

*Also, you can’t trust religious establishments (inbred or not).** And does Greece really have wolves? I don’t think Greece has a lot of wolves. Or that Spartans developed the Corinthian column prior to . . . oh, I’ll just stop while I’m ahead.

**Or Athenians. Fucking sculptors and philosophers – the hell good are they? And wouldn't you think that a movie made almost entirely during post-production would perhaps have been thoughtful enough to cover up Gerard Butler’s fillings? Or maybe the Spartan army just had a really good dental plan.