Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009, USA/New Zealand)

Michael Sheen is kind of awesome. Going directly from Frost/Nixon to the incredibly inessential Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is quite the jump, even if they were filmed in reverse order. Does he have a really big mortgage? Need an excuse to go to the gym? Get really bored playing Tony Blair? (Three times and counting.) Or maybe he just has a great sense of humor?

I'm not entirely sure how Rise didn't go direct to DVD. There's nothing here, save some awesome scenery-chewing from Bill Nighy, that wasn't told - in much-appreciated brevity - in the prior two Underworld movies. Plus, the special effects are crap, and duck-lipped Rhona Mitra is a pretty poor substitute for Kate Beckinsale. The discovery that they are currently considering a fourth movie just floors me. What's left to tell? Selene's high school awkward phase? Victor's brief stint on the London stage in the 18th century? The vampire vs. werewolves concept was fun the first time around, but swiftly fell victim to the law of diminishing returns. As I can't recommend quitting while they're ahead, just quitting would probably be the way to go at this point.