Ultraviolet (2006, USA)

Perhaps it's unfair to review a film that I didn't actually finish watching. Then again, I'll buy a beer for anyone who can sit through the whole of this thing - I knew it was a lost cause in the first five minutes, and think I fell asleep before the hour mark.

Seeing that I enjoyed Kurt Wimmer's Equilibrium enough to see it not once, but twice, and having a soft spot for Milla Jovovich's athletic heroine routine, I figured that this film might well be dumb, but could be good dumb fun. Wrong. The plot is senseless and the effects are bad. It's not even worth renting to ogle Milla, seeing that she, along with everyone else in the movie, is airbrushed to near-anonymity. (While I'm at it, shame on you, William Fichtner. I hung on to that glacial alien invasion t.v. show for you, but this might well be the last straw.)

I never thought I'd say this, but if you're really in the mood for a futuristic girl-in-skimpy-clothing-saves-the-day movie, rent Aeon Flux instead. Or revisit the good old Milla days with The Fifth Element.